We all go through tough times. Yet what can be worrying for parents are feelings of ongoing, extreme frustration and desperation or situations whereby too much control is handed over to a child.
Although it may sound extreme, such scenarios are not uncommon. Parenting is a lot to do with confidence yet it’s a fragile state and during trying times even the most self-assured parent can find him or herself at a loss.
So if you’re going through a difficult stage or just struggling to manage on a day-to-day basis here are some simple quick-fix ideas that can help re-address the balance of power and get you back to the top of your parenting game in no time.
1. Seek wisdom
Parenting is the most intense and personal job in the world so staying objective and not getting too close or overly emotional is difficult. Finding a trusted third party to bounce parental frustrations, problems and challenges off, along with seeking advice, can go a long way to keeping you sane. Just make sure you choose someone that is reliable, whose opinions you value and who can be impartial. Relatives can be ideal so long as they are non-judgmental and respect there may be times you choose to work through problems alone. If opting to use a friend as a confidant make sure that person is discreet and you identify and agree with their parenting style. If you prefer not to talk to someone make a point of choosing a few reliable sources and reading up about parenting news, techniques and styles - new ideas and ways of thinking can be helpful.
2. Consider temperament
The nature versus nurture debate has been going on for a long time but whether or not children are born or are made with certain personality traits the fact remains that from a young age kids display different characteristics. Although it might seem obvious, temperament is not always considered when thinking about how to manage children yet it’s important to success or failure. Some parents come undone by using a blanket approach to parenting yet what works for one child will not necessarily work for all – so making allowances for this, even amongst siblings, is critical.
3. Positive parenting
Positive parenting is one of the most popular parenting techniques today. The best-known program of its kind in Australia is the University of Queensland developed Triple P Parenting Program. Based on making routine and small general changes to the way a family operates the concept is not rocket science but built on a set of common sense principles. Like with any parenting school of thought, rather than trying to implement everything, cherry picking information appropriate to individual need works best.
Some Triple P tips include:
4. Lead by example
As the primary role model and person a child looks up to, the way a parent behaves and conducts them self on a day-to-day basis is extremely influential. Although children are individuals the example a parent sets is vital, so stamping out less than desirable behaviour of your own is important. If, for example, you tell your child not to yell or swear but raise your voice and use expletives you are sending mixed messages that will only confuse a child and dilute parental authority.
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