Two years ago I went traveling around the world, and basically… I never moved home.
Flying home for special occasions and for holidays is a big deal, and to be honest, as much I would have liked time with my family this year, it just wasn’t possible this time around.
While for the most part I love the excitement of living away, it can also prove a lonely experience.
And it appears I’m not, er, alone.
A recent survey by Relationships Australia found that up to 15 per cent of Australians reported frequently feeling lonely.
The reasons for this are, no doubt, diverse.
Some of us have chosen to live away, while others have had family or close friends leave – through travel, work opportunities, and in some cases, death.
So with that in mind, here are some ideas for easing the sting of loneliness over the holiday season:
1. Acknowledge your feelings
As the Mayo Clinic in the USA advises in its article ‘Stress, depression and the holidays’, if it is the case that you have had a loved one pass away, acknowledge your feelings and your sense of loss.
Just because its holiday season doesn’t mean you have to be chipper. Sadness resulting from grief is a normal and healthy emotion.
2. Deliver a little kindness
Psychologists widely acknowledge that giving back is a number one way to boost your happiness.
As clinical psychologist and author Professor Tim Sharp writes: “Being kind to others and lending a helping hand are great ways to lift the spirit. Acts of kindness and happiness have been shown to be reciprocal.
“The more satisfied a person feels with themselves, the more likely they will be to help others. The more that we help others, the more worthwhile and satisfied we feel about ourselves. Helping somebody else smile is a sure way to put a smile back on your face.”
He suggests that even small acts of kindness, such as making someone a cuppa, sending a quick thank you, or even paying for the coffee for the person behind you at the café, can be effective ways to boost your spirits.
3. Be your own best friend
You can be your own most wonderful source of companionship. I often find that during times when I get lonely, I check my phone a little too often, just to see if someone’s called or texted.
Last week I realised what I was actually doing, so I turned my phone off and I rode to the beach. It was exactly what I needed. It somehow reset my mind from ‘anxiety mode’ into ‘enjoy what you have’ mode.
Health writer and blogger Sarah Wilson wrote of a similar experience recently. After finding herself alone and anxious on the weekend, she caught a train to the bush.
“I got a grip, got on a train up north and did one of my bush excursions. Fling yourself into bush. Climb a tree. I once had this edict taped to the back of my bedroom door for just such antsy moments.
“Finally, two hours later with rain imminent, I entered the bush, not a soul in sight. Within minutes my whole energy shifted. I unfurled. I came back home to myself.
“And I realised this: I hadn’t been craving other people. I’d been craving me. My little Silly Season-frazzled soul wanted to be taken care of by… me. It wanted to be carted off into the bush, where it feels most at home in the world, for some free thinking and the rhythmic caressing provided by walking.”
What do you do to fight off the ‘lonelys’?