Why girlfriends are good for your health
31 Mar 2010

Women & friendship: why girlfriends are good for your health part 1

2 mins to read
In the first part of a series on women, relationships and health, Naturopath Siobhan Jordan explores the fascinating world of female friendships and unearths just a few reasons why they are so important for women’s health.


We don’t need science to confirm the importance of friendship, but it does provide us with some interesting insights about our relationships with our girlfriends, family, partner and friendly local barista.

And although the benefits of friendship don’t discriminate based on gender, there are some differences between males and females when it comes to friendship.

Relationships and health: an introduction

Let’s take a look at some of the general benefits of our human interactions first. Stanford University Professor Robert Sapolsky’s book, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, is an entertaining and insightful starting point. In reviewing research in the area of stress and disease, Sapolsky highlights data that suggests the fewer social interactions an individual has, the worse the impact of infectious diseases, and – wait for it – the shorter their life expectancy.

The author discusses what are termed “medically protective” relationships, which can take many forms such as friendships, marriage, family and group membership (e.g. of a church). It’s a good reminder that health isn’t all about eating your greens and doing your cardio workouts. 

Women and stress: tend-and-befriend

Well, you’ve probably heard about the “fight-or-flight” behavioural and physiological response to stress that us humans engage in, but did you know that females may respond somewhat differently to males in the face of stress?

Researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), propose that the female behavioural response to stress may be better described as “tend-and-befriend”. To elaborate, the tending involves nurturing activities which are designed to protect themselves and any children and that promote safety and reduce distress. The befriending side of the equation involves the creation and maintenance of social networks, particularly with other females.

So girlfriend, it seems that social interactions such as those with our gal pals are critical for managing our stress and therefore supporting our health. 

Did you know?

Although it’s complex, part of the tend-and-befriend response discussed in the UCLA study involves hormones such as oxytocin, more commonly known for its role in stimulating uterine contractions in child birth.

According to study author Dr Laura Cousino Klein “it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the fight or flight response and encourages her to tend to children and gather with other women instead.  When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters the stress and produces a calming effect”.

References available on request



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