The Rhythm: Hormones and balance

Heard of adolescence, but not matrescence? You’re not alone.

Welcome to Matrescence. Despite being one of the biggest hormonal, neurological and identity shifts a person can experience, the transition into motherhood is still rarely talked about by name. Here’s why naming matrescence could change the way we think about becoming a mother.

They say when a baby is born, a mother is born too. But while we spend months preparing for labour, feeding and sleep schedules, few of us are prepared for the profound transformation happening inside the mother herself. Beyond the physical recovery from birth, becoming a parent reshapes the brain, shifts hormones, rewrites relationships, challenges identity and changes the way a woman sees herself and the world around her.

Jenna’s experience was a rollercoaster, where a blissed-out existence of milky cuddles, newborn coos, tiny nappies (his) and Real Housewives re-runs clashed with hormone swings, doomscrolling, disposable underwear (hers) and the inability to switch off even when someone else offered to hold the sleeping baby. But she hadn’t expected that the biggest adjustment wouldn’t simply be learning to care for a newborn, it would be becoming someone new.

“I couldn’t believe no one was acknowledging how much everything had changed,” she recalls.

Alongside the joy and tenderness of early motherhood came a version of herself she barely recognised. Looking back, she realised she had assumed motherhood would arrive instinctively, without appreciating just how much adapting it would require.

As the months passed, Jenna understood the changes ran deeper than sleep deprivation or recovering from birth.

“I just didn’t feel like myself anymore; I started to forget what ‘me’ even felt like,” she says. “When I stopped breastfeeding around eight months and some of those hormones shifted, I remember thinking, ‘Oh, this is kind of what it felt like to be me before I had the baby.’” But not completely. It wasn’t simply that life had changed; her sense of identity had too.

The concept of matrescence was first coined in 1973 by medical anthropologist and doula Dana Raphael, who wrote:

“Childbirth brings about a series of very dramatic changes in the new mother’s physical being, in her emotional life, in her status within the group, even in her own female identity. I distinguish this period of transition from others by terming it matrescence to emphasise the mother and to focus on her new lifestyle.”

In 2008, Dr Aurélie Athan, a clinical psychologist, rediscovered Raphael’s concept and, viewing it through the lens of psychology, helped to build upon and shape the earlier definition. By comparing the transformation of matrescence to that of adolescence, she helped non-mothers comprehend the scale and magnitude of the shift. Just as adolescence explains why teenagers don’t think or feel exactly as they did as children, matrescence gives us a framework for understanding why becoming a mother changes us so profoundly.

Science is only now beginning to understand the biological processes which take place in matrescence. One 2016 study found substantial changes to the brain’s structure, including a decrease in grey matter which helps mothers bond with their baby, prioritise its needs, and detect threats in the surrounding environment. A follow-up study this year focused on neuroplasticity in second pregnancies and found that change occurred more significantly in the parts of the brain that deal with attention and motor networks. The researchers believe it’s our brains helping us adapt to parenting multiple children.

In her 2018 TEDTalk, reproductive psychiatrist Alexandra Sacks calls what new mothers experience as they undergo matrescence the “push-pull” concept:

“Unlike other animals, our babies can’t walk, they can’t feed themselves, they’re very hard to take care of. So evolution has helped us out with this hormone called oxytocin. It’s released around childbirth and also during skin-to-skin touch, so it rises even if you didn’t give birth to the baby. Oxytocin helps a human mother’s brain zoom in, pulling her attention in so that the baby is now the centre of her world. But at the same time, her mind is pushing away, because she remembers that there are all these other parts to her identity - other relationships, her work, hobbies, a spiritual and intellectual life, not to mention physical needs.”

She’s referring here to the state of physical and emotional fatigue that comes with new parenthood and ‘putting the baby first’, which can cause a drop in nutritional wellbeing that can stick around for years.

Just as expectant mothers take a prenatal supplement, specific vitamins and minerals can support postpartum recovery too.

“Postnatal recovery is about replenishing the nutrients and reserves that have been drawn upon throughout pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding,” says Katie Gregory, a naturopath and nutritionist.

“During these stages, a mother’s body prioritises the needs of the growing baby, often placing key nutrients such as iron, zinc, iodine, B vitamins, omega-3 fats and other micronutrients towards foetal development and breastmilk production. When this is combined with disrupted sleep, physical recovery and the demands of caring for a newborn, many women can experience a state of nutrient depletion that affects energy, mood, cognition and overall wellbeing.”

Supporting matrescence extends beyond nutrition. Gregory encourages mothers to prioritise rest where possible, establish gentle routines that support sleep, eat regular nourishing meals and, perhaps most importantly, lean on their village. Whether that means accepting help from family, friends or community support, caring for the mother is an essential part of caring for the baby.

Perhaps that’s the most important lesson matrescence offers. Becoming a mother isn’t a single event that ends after birth, but an ongoing process of biological, psychological and social change. Having a name for that transformation doesn’t make it easier, but it can make it easier to understand. And in recognising matrescence for what it is, mothers may realise they’re not simply struggling to keep up, they’re just adapting to one of the most profound transitions of adult life.

Reviewed by healthcare practitioner Katie Gregory