The truth about women's libido

Women's libido is shaped by more than hormones alone. Learn how stress, nutrition, energy and emotional wellbeing all play a role in these FAQs answered by Blackmores Naturopaths.

What happens in the body when we're under chronic stress, and why can that affect libido?

Stress is one of the most common reasons women notice changes in desire. When the vitality of woman runs low this directly impacts libido. Low libido is a common symptom of burnout, and stress is one of the most significant factors affecting female libido. While low desire is often viewed as a hormonal issue, it is in fact more commonly stress/burnout being the main driver.

When we're under chronic stress, the body prioritises survival over reproduction. The adrenal glands release stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, activating the "fight or flight" response. This is a helpful short-term mechanism, but when stress becomes ongoing, elevated cortisol can disrupt the delicate balance of sex hormones including oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone, all of which play a role in sexual desire and arousal.

Chronic stress can also affect libido through several other pathways. Women may experience brain fog, anxiety, poor sleep, low mood and difficulty being present in the moment. Not to mention many women can be simply “touched out” by the end of the day after a day of caring for their young. These factors can make it harder to feel connected to a partner, or experience desire naturally. In addition, prolonged stress may contribute to increased inflammation, blood sugar imbalances and nervous system dysregulation, which can further impact energy, vitality and sexual wellbeing.

Low libido is a signal that the body may be under strain. When addressing the return of your inner passion, you first must ensure the key pillars of health are being met- sleep, hydration, movement, connection to others, nourishing foods and time spent in nature. Reawakening your vitality will restore a once lost libido.

What role does good nutrition play in supporting the hormones, nervous system and energy levels that contribute to healthy sexual wellbeing?

A diet built on real, nutrient-dense foods provides the essential building blocks of all areas of wellbeing. Sex hormones such as oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone don't simply appear out of nowhere. They rely on a steady supply of quality fats, protein, vitamins and minerals to be produced, metabolised and balanced effectively. Nutrients including zinc, vitamin D, magnesium, B vitamins and omega-3 fatty acids are particularly important when it comes to supporting hormonal health, reproductive function and libido.

Equally important is the health of the nervous system. Pleasure, desire, arousal and intimacy are not purely hormonal experiences; they are deeply connected to how safe, calm and nourished we feel within our bodies. Nutrients such as magnesium, B vitamins, amino acids and omega-3 fats help support neurotransmitter production, stress resilience, a healthy mood and relaxation. And let's be clear: a healthy libido is not a luxury. It is not something reserved for women in their twenties, nor is it a frivolous "nice to have". Healthy sexual wellbeing is part of a woman's overall vitality, and every woman deserves to feel connected to this aspect of herself at every stage of life.

Energy is another essential piece of the puzzle. Every cell in the body, including those involved in reproductive health and sexual function, requires energy to operate optimally. Nutrients such as iron, magnesium, B vitamins, CoQ10 and adequate protein support mitochondrial function and cellular energy production. When nutritional reserves become depleted, fatigue, low motivation, hormonal imbalances and diminished libido can often follow.

Good nutrition also supports healthy blood sugar regulation and cardiovascular health, both of which are fundamental for optimal circulation, nerve function and sexual responsiveness. Stable energy and healthy blood flow help create the physiological foundations required for healthy sexual function.

Ultimately, sexual wellbeing is a reflection of overall wellbeing. When we nourish the body with an abundance of colourful vegetables and fruits, quality proteins (plant or animal based), healthy fats, nuts, seeds, whole grains and adequate hydration, we are supporting the interconnected systems that influence our hormones, mood, energy, confidence, vitality and capacity for pleasure. Sexual health is not separate from health. It is one of its most beautiful expressions.

What's the biggest misconception you hear about women's libido, and what do you wish more women understood about how it changes over the course of life?

One of the biggest misconceptions about women's libido is that it's supposed to be constant and spontaneous, and that if desire isn't showing up in the same way it did at 24, it is lost forever.

The truth is that a woman's libido is not fixed. It's dynamic, cyclical and deeply influenced by her hormones, nervous system, emotional wellbeing, relationships, self-image, stress levels, sleep, energy, life stage and overall health.

I wish more women understood that libido isn't simply about wanting sex. It's a reflection of how connected we feel to ourselves, our bodies, our pleasure and our vitality. When a woman is exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out, disconnected from her body, or constantly caring for everyone else before herself, it's completely understandable that desire may become quieter.

Throughout a woman's life, her experience of libido will naturally evolve. It may shift during motherhood, career-building years, perimenopause and menopause. These changes are not signs that femininity or sexuality are disappearing. Rather, they are invitations to understand our bodies more deeply and to cultivate intimacy, pleasure and self-connection within every season. Our bodies will give us signals that something is not quite right, it is our job to listen.

While initially chemistry, or attraction drives us to our partners, in the long-term healthy communication, a well-regulated nervous system, a nourished body, and connection to oneself and your partner (emotionally, spiritually, and physically), will help keep sensuality being at the forefront.

Having a healthy libido also doesn’t need to only be nurtured if you have a partner. Self-pleasure is natural and often a great way to deepen your knowledge into what your body responds best to. Regardless of your relationship status with others the relationship you have with yourself should always a be priority.

Another misconception is that a healthy libido should look the same for every woman. There is no "normal" level of desire. What matters is whether a woman feels connected to her own sense of pleasure, desire and wellbeing.

I would love to see more women release the belief that libido is a luxury or something reserved for younger years. Sexual wellbeing is an important aspect of overall health. Women deserve to feel vibrant, sensual, nourished and connected to their sexuality at every age. While a female’s sexuality can often be looked to as not a priority or taboo, it in fact should be valued and cared for. Often, supporting libido is not about fixing one hormone or simply taking a supplement. It's about creating the conditions in which desire can naturally flourish: nourishing the body, regulating the nervous system, prioritising pleasure, reducing stress and reconnecting with ourselves as women.